It’s that time of year again when images of Santa Claus’ unkempt beard and grotesque paunch start popping up all over the place. In Hollywoodland however, that means its also time to ramp up the holiday blockbusters and this year is no different.
Now I understand the holidays are a busy time so many folks don’t get the chance to see everything that hits the multiplexes. After all, you’re busy working, buying presents, volunteering at Meals on Wheels, helping old people cross the street or simply blowing it all at the track.
So, to help expediate your busy life, I’ve compiled a list of ten films that may (or may not) be worth your while this holiday season. I’m not saying you should see them. I’m just telling you a bit about them so that if you ever get, say, awkwardly stuck on an elevator with some odd nitwit, you can (if nothing else) talk about a few upcoming movies this holiday season. Attending said films is entirely up to you. Oh, and as always, you’re welcome, Canada:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows: Part One (Nov. 19)
As if the Harry Potter movies weren’t long enough, the last one is going to be sooo big they had to cut it in half. Apparently, its so long shaggy Rupert Grint starts showing male pattern baldness by the end of next summer’s Part Two.
Love & Other Drugs (Nov. 24)
Critics are sitting erect in their seats for Jake Gyllenhaal’s alluring performance as a Viagra salesman in this romantic comedy also starring Anne Hathaway. It should be anything but a hard sell at the box office.
Burlesque (Nov. 24)
Cher and Christina Aguilera team up for this big-time musical about dancers at a burlesque show in Los Angeles. If you’ve forgotten what music videos look like (since MTV/Muchmusic don’t air them anymore), get your 2-hour fix here.
Black Swan (Dec. 1)
Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler) had a festival favorite this past fall with this ballet-themed thriller. And just in case ballet turns the dudes off, he was smart enough to include a lesbian scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis to keep ‘em interested. See, he ain’t no fool.
The King’s Speech (Dec. 10)
Starring Colin Firth, this quirky comedy won the Toronto Film Fest’s People’s Choice Award this past year. In fact, the story about Britain’s King George VI and his speech impediment is an early front-runner for the Best Picture Academy Award. I know, I know, shocking that no one’s talking about Furry Vengeance for the Oscar, right?
Tron: Legacy (Dec.17)
Sure, at the risk of being classified a huge nerd, I am totally stoked about this highly-anticipated big-screen reimagining of the 1982 movie about a computer programmer getting sucked into a videogame and being forced to play his way out. What?! That doesn’t sound totally boss to you!?
Yogi Bear (Dec. 17)
Speaking of big-screen imaginings, the hit Hanna-Barbera cartoon about Jellystone Park’s pic-a-nick basket-thieving bear is finally hitting multiplexes in a mix of live action and computer animation. I guess that’s exciting for some, but I say wake me up when Huckleberry Hound gets the Quentin Tarantino makeover.
Country Strong (Dec. 22)
Gwyneth Paltrow does her best imitation of Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart in this story about a washed-up Nashville crooner getting a second shot. Need I say more.
Little Fockers (Dec. 22)
This is the latest sequel to Ben Stiller’s hit comedy Meet the Parents (which came out a decade ago). If the title is any indication, it should be as funny as finding a tick in your underwear.
True Grit (Dec. 25)
Forget what you think you know about John Wayne’s 1969 classic western. With the Coen Brothers remaking this film (and more notably, the novel it was based on), you know it is going to be simply amazing. Toss in the fact that the cast includes Jeff Bridges, Josh Brolin and Matt Damon and you’ve pretty much got a handful of Oscar nominations sewn up as well. Sorry about your luck, Furry Vengeance.
A list of some of the other notable titles to checklist this holiday season:
Morning Glory (Nov. 10)
Unstoppable (Nov. 12)
Skyline (Nov. 12)
The Next Three Days (Nov. 19)
Faster (Nov. 24)
Tangled (Nov. 24)
The Tourist (Dec. 10)
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Trader (Dec. 10)
The Tempest (Dec. 10)
The Fighter (Dec. 17)
How Do You Know (Dec. 17)
Gulliver’s Travels (Dec. 22)
Barney’s Version (Dec. 24)
